Quote:
Originally Posted by Tosspot
And not just the cliches!
I don't really recognize myself. I know the face in the mirror is me, but I don't feel any connection to the reflection. I can't really describe it. The only time I look in mirrors is sometimes to put my hair up or put on mascara but those times i'm only looking at my hair, or my eyelashes. I can't seem to look at my reflection as a whole... I get really weirded out by the whole experience of knowing you're looking at yourself yet unable to comprehend it.
anyone else? or can anyone guess at what might be going on??  |
I experience this as part of my dissociation. It's sort of a combined depersonalization/derealization type of thing. So, in depersonalization, I don't feel real. My arms seem very far away and like they're not attached to me or being controlled by me. My voice sounds foreign and I feel unconnected to what I'm saying, like it's not me saying it. My body feels like it's on autopilot. Now, when you add the sensation of derealization, that the world around me isn't real, like I'm walking in a dream or a house of mirrors, and I look in the mirror, the effect is compounded so that now I don't even recognize my own face.
It's a very disconcerting feeling, but can be a normal reaction to stressful situations. It's our mind's way of protecting us from some external threat. Sometimes, though, this mechanism can get out of whack and be present without any real threat.
Sometimes grounding skills can help bring you back into your body. Talk to your T or pdoc about it. Your experience may be from some other cause, but that's where I'd begin to look for answers. Your pdoc can help rule out other causes.
Hope this helps.
