Hello Emptybee...,

I'm sorry you feel that way today. Feeling will always change; up one day and down the next, so I think you should remember that your feelings of hopelessness and frustration will very likely lessen with time. In the future, you might look on all of this emotional anguish in a much different way than you do now.

Happy Birthday! It might be a bit early but I believe the universe/god/whatever celebrates all of our births in its own special way. Even though it seems you feel very, very alone I don't believe that, in reality, you are alone at all. Sometimes when I'm at my lowest points, I'll just meet someone who says just the right thing at just the right time to make things seem less scary and overwelming.
I come from a traditional yankee family(purital/calvinist) and they value hardwork and emotions and similar stuff , I believe, they see as luxeries. I've learned to cope with this, as best I can, by following the suggestions of therapists and doctors and other trusted folk. I can't always get emotional support from my birthfamily, but it is available, I just have to sniff around and be patient. I never panic, it won't solve anything.
It sounds like your boyfriend isn't providing emotional support right now, or not enough to heal you. Long term relationships are tough, for both parties. I believe they will always require work and patience to maintain. I've been married for 10 years and my wife would definatly agree with me. We have both gone through the entire spectrum of emotions; happy, sad, angry, infuriated, depressed lonely, unfulfilled etc.. We have learned to communicate and comprimise and we both avoid blaming and falsly accusing and name calling and threats. We love each other in a very real and practical way. Homeymoons never last long, when they end, the work begins, I believe.

I'm glad you reached out and I hope my words help you to feel less alone. It helps me to help you

A.