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Originally Posted by dragonfly2
I would focus instead on practicing deep breathing exercises and relaxation techniques. Prepare your answers ahead of time for questions regarding what you have been doing, even if you have to dig a little. Did you do any gardening this past summer? Do you have any children you can talk about? Do you have any future trips planned? You probably haven't seen many of these people since last Christmas and they'll have no idea if you read a particular book last week or last April.
Also, have an exit strategy planned. Scope out somewhere isolated and quiet that you can retreat to, should things feel out of control. Plan for self-soothing strategies while you're there. Do you drink herbal tea? Bring a few bags and ask for some hot water and have that instead of whatever tea they're serving.
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These are great suggestions, dragonfly! I like the one about what books you're reading - though I wish I had been prepared for that recently when we were having this discussion with some literati friends over Thanksgiving. I had to say, "I just read this really fascinating book, but I'm not sure if I'd recommend it." The book was "Madness: A Bipolar Life" by Marya Hornbacher (major trigger warning, it had my adrenaline all jacked up after the first couple sentences) so it wasn't like I could really explain why I was reading it, other than it being a dramatic account. Fortunately I remembered another book I'd recently read, and could talk more about that one (it's a very poetic collection of short stories about birds and birding).
I would add to the "exit strategy" suggestion to make sure your spouse is on board with that plan. My husband has a much, much lower tolerance for social intercourse than I do. When he says it's time to go, I have about 10 minutes to make my farewells, and if I push it and we stay much longer than that, there's hell to pay. He gets really crabby and even more reluctant to come to any such event in the future. After 12 years together, I know not to question it, and that when he says that time's up, he means it. In some circumstances, we've arranged for him to be able to leave earlier than me, or arrive later (due to work schedules or whatever excuse) which also helps reduce his exposure to the social scene and therefore keeps him much happier about making these token appearances.