Quote:
Originally Posted by ladyjrnlist
It's getting harder. The sui thoughts are creeping back in but I don't want to tell anyone because I can't go to the hospital right now. It's finals week next week. No time. Trying to push through this. The problem with cyclical is that I know once the depression is gone, it's coming back. This makes it harder for me to want to stick around and keep taking it on the chin.
There are stressors right now and some triggers, but nothing I shouldn't be able to handle. Life is good enough, sometimes even great. But I still feel this way. I exercise, try to eat right, take vitamins and supplements....I've tried it all.
Sometimes I wish I'd thrown in the towel six months ago when I had the chance.
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Would it help to make some plans for after finals? Like going out with friends (not to party, but you know, something fun) or taking a little daytrip to someplace you enjoy, or indulging in some small (healthy) reward?
I know it's tough to get through finals when you feel awful, though most of the time I was manic for finals because I hadn't been sleeping. And while most students are fixated on the break afterwards, it can be hard to see that as a "light at the end of the tunnel." Still - is there anything to look forward to over the break? I know I do a lot better when I create rewards for myself and make plans for things I know I'll enjoy, even if I don't want to do them at the time because it usually ends up fun even if it's hard to convince myself to do it.
Hang in there - and if you need help, don't worry about your finals, go to the ER. If you do, make sure you or your parents/spouse/responsible party let someone at school know (usually the dean or someone who manages student affairs) and you should be granted an incomplete and the opportunity to make up your exams later when you're doing better. I have taken several incompletes in my time, and it's really not a big deal. There's a reason that option is available - and if you need it, do not hesitate to take it!