Lydia, I have done EMDR just a few times but never thought of it as a way to evoke feelings. My T said it was a way to process memories, especially stuck ones due to trauma. You come as you are to therapy and if you cannot talk about feelings that day, that's how it is for any therapy you might try, not just the EMDR. Your T can try to help you with that, but what your T did does not sound helpful. My T had me preview what we would discuss in EMDR before we did EMDR each time. Maybe he was assessing if it was suitable that day--I don't know. I never felt pressured to produce feelings on command like a dog performing for a treat. Yuck.

The first time I did EMDR my T just gave me the buzzers to hold and "interviewed" me while I felt them buzz soothingly--left, right, left, right. It's very gentle. We just had a normal conversation--no pressure. Later, we did a more structured EMDR protocol but there was never an emphasis on feelings. If anything, there was an emphasis on thoughts. I had to identify a negative cognition associated with whatever memory we would work on that day, and also a positive cognition about myself. I think your T does EMDR really differently from mine...

It sounds to me like your T is really pressuring you. It sounds like you do have feelings. Your tears show that. You sound quite dismissive of your crying, "crying is an action." I think your tears are a good sign that your feelings do exist and are accessible. Maybe you are sad over your brother's impending departure or maybe something else. That sounds like a great direction in therapy and you don't need EMDR to take that direction. I think your T needs to go slower and help your feelings come out. I think her pressuring you will drive the feelings deeper inside because it will affect the safe atmosphere of therapy. I also think it's awful that she said "you can't be dead inside." I think you need a really empathetic therapist to help you learn to find your feelings deep inside. I don't think you need special "techniques". JMO.

Are you doing EMDR for trauma, Lydia? If your T is a trauma expert, she will know other approaches besides EMDR. Maybe right now another approach is a better fit. Or if your goal is to learn to find your feelings, you may not need a trauma-based technique right now. I am reminded of a book Mindsight on therapy that I am reading right now. Some of what you've said reminds me of a couple of the cllients described in that book. You might find it interesting...

Maybe. Some people take SSRIs for anxiety and experience a side effect of affective flattening, which makes it harder for them to feel. And benzos are depressants. You might want to share with your prescriber your concerns because they might be a side effect of the meds. I also think you should ask your T about her being upset. She shouldn't be upset. Maybe she can explain what she was feeling and if she was upset, she will be made aware of that so she can correct that in the future.

Best of luck.