Rosie sweety, I totally understand where you are coming from. It can be a scary thought - being controlled by an illness for the rest of your life.

However...I believe it can be seen as a positive that you are scared because you WANT to be able to control this. I remember admitting to my psychiatrist for the first time that I was scared of a relapse, and she was so proud of me for realizing this as she then knew I want to keep this disorder from ruining my life.



When it comes to medication, it can help stabilize the condition whilst you learn, using other therapies and distraction techniques, how to control your bipolarity. There is nothing to be afraid of, if you feel as though they are restricting you too much...there are hundreds of different dosage and medication combinations and you will eventually find the right one for you.

It's hard to believe that you will eventually be able to live an enjoyable, "normal" life - but it really is possible. Just because bipolar is the horrible life-long mental illness it is, it doesn't mean it has to rule your life and hold you back from making connections to others and becoming a very successful person. Take Stephen Fry, for example. He has severe bipolar disorder/manic depression...yet is extremely successful. And he isn't the only one: there are hundreds of famous; successful people with the condition. In fact...some stand by the illness as being one of their biggest inspirations.

Now you have the diagnoses you can begin to tame the "wild beast" that bipolar disorder is. You will get there eventually. And yes, some medications can indeed make you feel like a zombie - but that doesn't mean you won't find the medication for you. There are developments appearing all the time.

As always, if you need any help or support, please feel free to contact me.
RB ♥