Seems appropriate, morethingswrong, to feel "a complete and utter mess" just so long as you know you're not. All things considered--what you're going through--most people would feel that way.

So you come on here & moan & whine & rant & vent all you want. Pretty soon it'll be someone else's turn, & you'll be here for them/me.

Sure wish social security would display some common sense in your case. Have you called on your congressperson & senator?

Roadrunner