My advice is to not beat yourself up for applying for assistance. Make sure you get all the assistance you possibly can. that is what it is there for. do you have a family resource center in your area? please google to find out. ask to speak with a family advocate. they will know the resources available to you. all areas typically have weatherization programs which will weatherize your homes to reduce your heating costs. there are energy assistance programs that apply money to your gas and electric bills. food stamps. medicaid. health and human services typically has a program that will help one time with the rent. food banks. christmas food basket. toys for tots or angel tree for gifts for the children for christmas. if you dont have a family resource center the salvation army may have this information for you.

Im so sorry you have all these hardships to bear, but there is help out there. please access it. i wish you the best. hugs