Well i hope it made you feel better to get all that off your chest. I think you said it best in your last line. You want everybody to leave you alone. You have the power to make that happen. It sounds like you need a break from it all. time to sort out all your thoughts and feelings. Get away from it all. Have you tried being alone? Take time for yourself to discover who you are and what you want out of life? What you want out of a partner? Why dont you make your vacation all about you?