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There are normally a few things I look for...
Attention - During your session, a therapist should always be focused on their patient. If they're checking the time throughout the session, looking at objects in the room, taking constant notes or if they take considerable time to look at their phone/answer calls...it isn't really a good sign, nor is it nice for the patient to feel as though they're just another number or boring the person of whom is SUPPOSED to be helping them with their issues and illness.
Note Taking - Even though constant/prolonged note taking can be a negative thing as I mentioned, a generous amount of writing down notes means that the therapist is taking down what you say and may be figuring out how to help you better and future sessions.
Casual Conversation - Yes, you are in therapy to help with your mental illness and problems in life that you may be experiencing...but it is always nice to sometimes have a casual chat about something rather "off-topic". I knew my DBT worker was brilliant when we began exchanging subtle jokes and having a laugh about things not related to my illness. It's refreshing and even more it shows a good patient-therapist bond.
Working WITH you - One or two of my past therapists would decide what happens and when with my treatment. A good therapist will talk you through the treatments and discuss what you want from your time in session. One of my past workers also just gave me lots of homework to do by myself...a good therapist will help you with it during session and also work through a lot of work with you whilst you are there. He/she should know how to respond to your negative comments and/or emotions correctly and know how to help you through the difficult times.
Out-of-Session Support - Not many therapists offer this. But mine gave me her phone number and email so I can email her or call her during times of struggle whilst out in the "real world". It's also good if I want to write stuff down. NOTE: You can, obviously, ask your therapist if you can write down things you'd like to say but can't (as well as how you are feeling at certain times) on a piece of paper and give it to him/her or read through it during your session.
Most of all... You can usually just tell after 2 or 3 appointments that your therapist is the one for you. There is just that bond and willingness; trust and belief in your therapist that you can tell him/her everything on your mind.
RB ♥
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Bipolar life has it's ups and downs
Currently experiencing slight relapse into depressive episode but overall stability for almost a year!
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