I think you and i have smilar problems we want to save people, be there knight in shining armour so to speak, but at the end of the day she has to be her own superhero. You cannot do more than your already doing, and you cant do more than the person will let you. You dont love her yet, so this may sound mean but in away that makes it easier for you to walk away. You need to decide if you want to be in a relationship with this person, be there friend or if you want to walk away and leave her to sort out her own problems out!

You dont have control over her actions just your own. If you want to help her through this do it for the right reasons in that you love her/ like her and want to support her and be her friend, dont do it because you have an obsessive need to make her into the person you know she can be, as too often we see the potential of a person and we know how great they can be and we forget that maybe they dont want to become that person, or they never are gong to reach there full potential.

I hope that makes sence in otherwords choose whether you want to be in her lie based on letting our own expections go, or walk away and realise that you cant save everyone.