It all seems a little too much for you, and once things start hurting you more than helping you then you know you need to make some changes.

So what can you do:
1. Tell your guy friends that you are not ready for any kind of relationship and you dont want to hurt them, but you dont feel the same way. you do not have to mention that your back with your ex just say that your feelings are not the same as their's. You said you did not intentionally lead them on, i think next time you should probably set your boundaries down first because this will stop people from getting hurt as much. because people do not fall in love with other people wihout a little encouragement, and you sad your self your living every gtls dream ( well personally having a conttrolling boyfriend, two heartbroken friends and being separated from the love of my love, sounds more like a nightmare to me).

2. Break up with your ex, you know its not working have sex with him if you want, but break up with him because for one he does not trust you he has never trusted you he manipulated your guilt about how you felt about cheating on your boyfriend and because he contantly did not trust him you did it again, though im not saying it is his fault, but this is a perfect example of why trust is the centre and most important element of a relationship and once is gone the relationship is ususally doomed to die though not always, that being siad he enver trusted you, and if it did not work the first time it probably will not work the second so its time to move on and you know it.

3. Move to your brotehrs and sux up his rules for now until you are in a bettter position later on to do soemthing about it, and your parens are your parents they are always going to be the same. even when our thirty there still going to think they can tell you what to do. Unfortunately it is one of thsoe things.

4. Look after yourslef you cannot make anyone happy until you make yourself happy. It going to be hard to hurt all these peoples feelings, but you know what you have to do, as it is all to much or you right now.

You have to be able to look after yourself bedore ou can look after anyone else.

Hope that helps, and good luck! and im sorry that things are so hard right now.