I was devestated by the diagnosis but I accepted it. I had dealt with the mood swings, mania and depression for so long and had been so miserable it was a relief to hear someone say, "There IS something wrong with you and we can control this with meds and therapy." It was a relief to know it wasn't a personality or moral flaw but instead an illness that I didn't ask for and did nothing to cause. I will admit, though, that I did let it become who I was for awhile and let it define my self worth. I lost all self esteem. I became terrified my husband would cheat or leave me because of the bipolar. I became a depressed, frightened, insecure person who I didn't recognize and didn't like. I've moved past that and am back to being myself, for which my husband and I are grateful. I still get scared--like now when I know I'll be facing hospitilization if things don't get back under control by the time I see my psych doc in a month. But I no longer let it define who I am. I realize now that bipolar is like diabetes or even the flu like virus I'm dealing with today--it's something I have. It's not who I am.