Great. Are you going to be starting soon? I think your counselor could help you learn to stand up to your husband. It is damaging to your daughter not only how your H is treating her but to see her mother stand by and do nothing. That is what my therapist helped me see about my own behavior with my ex-husband. He helped me understand that not only did I have to fix the abuse problem in the family (from my ex-husband) but I had to do some serious work with my children to make amends for not having protected them.

It sounds like this marriage is in serious trouble and your children are suffering. A therapist will help you learn to stand up to your husband. "He tells me to be quiet" is not a reason to stop trying to protect your children. Another way to fix the situation is to leave your husband and get your children away from him. I hope you will see a therapist.