No, I am the same way.

But I have slowly been improving. I feel like I'm still learning how to do things I loathe though.

I think for most people, who are normal. Facing what you don't like isn't that bad, because for them things are kept in check and never really spiral out of control... But as you get older, what you have to face gets more intense.

If you let yourself SLIDE that can be really bad, have a bad influence on your expectations for yourself. And then if you just keep sliding... over and over again. You feel out of control of what you' re doing. Hell you've never really done anything else before.

All I'm saying is doing things differently is a learning experience. Its a climb up a mountain, that isn't comfortable. But ever little step makes a difference.

It takes a lot of self-discipline to keep doing things you dont like. But thats what self-discipline is. Its just when you have suffered a lot as a child, you nver had the opportunity to see equilibrium in your life!!

Its never been a gift you got to indulge in. so you've constantly felt pushed around and bombarded with stress factors. And because you don't sync up with what the rest of the world considers "normal" this makes it even harder to forgive yourself.

Well I am just saying, don't worry, you aren't addicted to anything. Just not used to feeling balanced. Well thats not your fault. Your childhood was rough and didn't allow that to happen for you.

IT ****ing sucks, but don't worry you aren't addicted.

All human's brains are adaptable and can learn new things. Don't let people tell you, you are what you are because of your genes or because you've always done it. School obviously can't be anyone's priority when they already have things stressing them at home.

Say screw the world and do things at your own pace. Always forgive yourself and aim for a little better. You are obligated to do things at your own pace. Just as long as you keep your goals in mind