How do I feel today ??? Well I went to bed last nite and slept for about 2-3 hours and then just took another round of my sleep meds so i got a few more hours .. It was either knock me down or I was going to get so flipped out over it that i was going to lose it .. MY Pdoc has told me in the past that if push comes to shove to go ahead and double dose to knock me down,, we are trying soooooooooooo hard for me to stay out of the damn hospital so this latest lovely news has the potential to put me there ..
I spent most of the day just in bed looking out the window ... its been cold here and we have just 2 small ceramic type heaters for the house so it rountinly in the depth of winter will be 40 degrees in the house so staying in bed is usally wise for me and my fibro .. we literally just cant afford to heat the house using propane .. so we wear tons of layers and loads of blankets .

So yes it would have been nice for my disabilty to come thru so i could at least afford to put some propane in the tank and use when it gets really bad ,, But 100 gallons( miminium ) is almost 400 bucks ...

I just get upset that according to my doctors and therapists i qualify easily yet the damn state sees it otherwise ,, Id like them to come into my home and eat how i have to eat ( poorly due to lack of funds) and be cold for months on end .. maybe then someone woould get some common sense ,, Yeah Im still livid ,, Sorry for the rant ..

My husband and i have discussed droppiing our internet even tho we are under contract for another year ,, but he knows if we have nothing to do we will both go nuts and probably fight more just due to our circumstances ,, so anyone thinking i have everything and all that mess and i could give up things to have other more important stuff ,, trust me its not true ... ...

Just seems to me that i worked all my life and paid my taxes and i need help and cant get it .... yet someone can come to this country illegally and have tons handed to them ,, Ok im dont with that rant ,, hope none was offended .

You all really help me so much ..Its a godsend to know i have somewhere to come and rant and not get yelled at for being mad/sad/or irratated.

Thanks guys