My thoughts and my feelings had been destructive instead of creative recently(well, what's recently); I think that this has been going for quite some time now...I am an extreme, when my mind is in the creative mood...ideas spark and dance colorfully in my head then I have to catch one and focus on it in which I start to get my pen(or pencil) and a pad of notes...write or design something; anything such as how my wedding album should be made...the word album trigger me to get the scissors and my pictures, then the glue, then magazines and I start to scan on beautiful pictures...beautiful pictures are bright colors, exotic forms, tell some stories that fil the beauty of my photograph with my husband...and lots of things to get excited with...but when I remember that I deserve something better then I start to sulk and ask myself these questions..."What am I doing?" I feel like I deserve something better..."something better" is already existing in my head...it's like I am already living my "tomorrow"...and so I sketch my "tomorrow"...and draw it as completely as I imagined...