Since going off the anti-d's and being put on and off of so many different psych meds I'm up over 30+ lbs from where I was 4 months ago.. I can't afford new clothes, but I can't afford to be "sick" either.. it seems to be lose lose and I hate it!! It makes me hate myself even more when my boyfriend says "I love you no matter what" I'm like, yeah right until little miss skinny steals you away from me! IDK, I just don't feel like "me" anymore, and I never even knew who "me" was to start with! Doesn't help that I'm dx'ed bipolar AND borderline