I agree with the possibility of guilty feelings. If you are feeling bad for saying something to him, you need to apologise not for him, but for your own release of emotional tension.

I have carried guilt around with me for many stupid things done in teh past and avoiding a simple apology keeps the guilt fresh and the avoidance stronger. If you still feel these symptoms afterward, talk to someboyd. If you don't wish to talk to family, look for a crisis line to call, a counsellor, a doctor, a friend, somebody who you will respect their advice from and be comfortable in accepting help from. For the sake of your own healtth, you must talk about it and seek assistance to feel better both physically and emotionally.

I hope you can find what you need to help yourself feel better. We are all behind you