Hi Ingrid2--I'm new to the forum, and just read your post, and wanted to let you know you are not alone. My working career spans 30+ years as well, and the workplace can very abusive! But you know what? After years of therapy, I'm learning that my anxiety and depression (yes, they go hand in hand) is there regardless of external circumstances. That brings me to dealing with my own self esteem, boundaries, being mindful of those automatic negative thoughts (the "I should, they should, I can't," etc. etc.). About the anxiety, the psych professionals seem to prescribe antidepressants for this; SSRIs don't work for me, so I am currently using Buspar (it's an older med that seems to work for anxiety without addiction to benzos). You may want to discuss this with your doctor....it helps me somewhat. Meanwhile, I catch myself saying negative things to myself as well...then I say, "Would you say such things to your best friend?" Well, NO, of course not....and I practice saying positive things to myself! Change from "learned helplessness" takes a while, but I guess if we stick with it, we'll feel better! Hugs to you...