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Wysteria · Dec 04, 2011, 12:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by delicatefade26

I always idealize intelligent, strong, most of the time older (but not too old..lol) men. I'm just now realizing how much of my life I have done this...even when I was very young. I hold them up...and if they let me down-my world crashes around me...I can't tolerate it. I don't search out these men-they just come into my life-I have found I can only have one man in that role at a time...right now it's T. I have never idealized a woman...and I don't think I ever will...as a matter of fact I hate weak women who can be manipulated-they enrage me. hmm...now that I'm thinking about all this I feel completely crazy!!! lol ; )

Hey DelicateFade,
I've been thinking about your response...and felt similarly.. But I have sort of idealized some women especially those that are like old souls or very spiritually centered and wise. Like you I often really don't like women that are easily manipulated or abused or lie a lot, etc. I also remembered how they say that we normally detest in others what we don't like about ourselves, and we can learn about ourselves in that which we don't like about others. I don't like women a lot because I don't understand them very well. I can normally communicate much easier with men because I thought they were normally more direct or blunt. Normally, I too idealize men much more. This isn't a new realization for me, but one I've struggled with for a while. Being that abuse is common to our backgrounds, I didn't know if this might relate to you or others as well.

Just kind of thinking out loud and hoping that you or someone else might help me think it through some more.. I hope I'm not hijacking the thread, but it also might lead to who or why we idealize as well...Like Echoes was saying, I don't think it's conscious really, it's just who we are drawn to and maybe who offers safety or comfort as well. I really don't know.

Wysteria Blue