I think that if you don't believe in marriage then you should stick to that. This isn't the case for everyone, though.

I also think that our society is teaching people how not to be married. The high divorce rate is the direct result of teaching over independence and putting yourself and your wants above all else at all times. Making it "okay" to say, if I want this I should have it regardless of who gets hurt. I think this is true of both men and women. Our society is very "me me me" and not enough "us and we."

The root cause of a lot of problems is exactly what you stated: my spouse is old and worn out. Time for a new one.

My mom and dad married at 40 and 41 respectively. They had never had any serious relationships (both were of the breed of people that just were outcasts that way.) They were both virgins. I was born a year later, and two years after that my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, which she fought for 11 years until her death. My mom and dad had exactly what almost no one has now: real love, true love, undying love.

For the last two years at the end of her life, every night he would sneak off work to come home and make sure she was okay, at the risk of his job, which we needed to pay bills. Because she was more important. He stayed with her for a week in the hospital, the last week of her life, holding her hand until the moment she died. And now, 19 years later (tomorrow is the anniversary,) he still mourns for her and misses her just as much as that first minute when she was gone.

He's remarried. He goes along as best he can. But he waits for when he will be reunited with her.

My mom was not a beauty queen. She was hopelessly flawed. She talked to loud and too much. She wasn't a good house keeper. She was stubborn and liked to argue. She was over weight, walked with a cane, didn't wear makeup, and wasn't very fashionable. But my dad accepted her and loved her for who she was. And I don't think very many people can say that their spouse is that way for them, or that they feel that way for their spouse.

So yes, the midlife crisis is "me me me." That's exactly the problem.