If I were you, I would not put off talking to your pdoc, I also I wouldn't try to go through this alone, it may get worse before better. I urge you to get professional help ASAP, and if you are prescribed meds. take them as directed, stopping and starting them without supervision can create more problems.
I hope you'll re-consider and contact a mental health professional.
I'm wishing you lots of luck and healing with this.
Please take care,
DE