Hi everyone

I was just wondering how would you feel if your husband or wife/ partner told you they loved the other woman/man. Not that he/s was leaving you for her/him, but that they loved them as well.
I guess when i imagine being married and my husband the concept is that once he marries me then he loves only me, and i honestly dont think i would be able to get over the fact that they fell in love with someone else. I know in life we fall in love with alot of people, but things dont work out and you break up, they in part will always have apart of your heart and in away you will always love them. However, once you agree to spend the rest of your life with someone, your agreeing to be there one and only, unless otherwise agreed.

I mean cheating breaks the codes of marriage/partnership, but i think in away you probably could forgive someone for being physically intimate with someone else, but could you get over them loving someone else.

I've heard of stories where women will say he said he loved her, but that was just the affair fog because afterwards he said he did not.
In retrospect i think the husband or the wives say this because they want to shut you up if that makes sence, they dont want to have to listen to you say, but you said you loved her/him. so they tell you want you want to hear. I think if yo felt at the time and you beleived it then it was true, the affair fog is just the same as that falling in love phase at the beginning of a new relationship, though i think it does depend upon the situation etc.

The whole falling out of love thing, i love you, but im not in love with you. that makes no sence you either love them or not.
There is this whole saying that people may forget what you said, but they will never be able to forget the way you made them feel.

So could you truely get over them falling in love with someone else, or would it seep through your body like an infection, slowly destroying your love for them. Once the intial winning phase passed and life returned back to normal, normal problems etc how would you get rid of the doubt.
I think after an affair there is this honeymoon phase where the husabnd or wife showers you with attention, trys to make it up too you etc. You go to councelling to find out what was missing emotionally. The truth is though if you looked at the other person they would probalbly be the exact opposite of you, as you cant love two people at the same time that are similar. However, they have more obligation to there partner, house, kids, etc.
So how would you escape the belief that they are only with you because they are obligated. And that if it just came down to love who would they really be with, and more importantly would you want to be with someone who loved another at the same time. ( this question is or everyone really).

A councellor/psychologist's i think makes excuses for certain behaviour, they try and help understand why you do certain things, but there making educated quessed and once a thought is in your mind then you tend to take it and run with it, even though your heart says otherwise.

Anyway this ended up being a whole lot of rambling

Question could you truely get over your partner loving someone else.