Even better session today!

I didn't really want to talk about the group, because:
1. My time with T is valuable and I didn't want to waste it on those plonkers.
2. I was afraid she would be disappointed in me.

But what you don't want to talk about is what you most need to talk about, right?
So I told her I was leaving the group, and she said, "I'm not disappointed. I want whatever is right for you."

One of the problems with that group - and this is really nobody's fault - is that there is no one there to look up to (certainly not the facilitator) and no one to look up to me. We all have similar physical and emotional ages. No one to be my parent; no one to be my child.

That got us on to fatherhood and how I was afraid my 14-year-old daughter didn't need me any more. She is so independent. But we agreed that simply being there all the time was my greatest gift to her. It is precisely because I am there to catch her that she can climb so high.

Then we talked about how beautiful T's soul is. Like the quartz crystal on her window sill. "And what about your soul? Can you see how beautiful that is?"

I said my soul was a darker crystal, more like an amethyst. When I came in, years ago, I had a lump of worthless rock and I never believed there might be a beautiful gem inside it. But we chipped away and we found it together.

One last thing: the way I attach to places more strongly than to people. T's office remains unchanged after almost a decade. How comforting that is!