Hi claire-marie,

My teenage years were confusing and overwelming also. I wish I had received help my freshman year in high school, but it didn't happen. I've spent time living without shelter, addicted, hopelessly confused and feeling very, very alone. Things were confusing and alone in my teenage years, but after I became an adult, I soon became aware that I wasn't cute or a child anymore. In fact people began to treat me like I was a dangerous person and noone cared if I hurt inside or not. They felt they needed to protect themselves and their family from me.

I believe that last part, my early adult years, and the pain that accomanied it, could have been avoided if I would have received therapy my freshman year in high school. I had to learn a very difficult lesson my early adult years that I hope you don't have to learn it too. There are places in this world where "I" don't matter. Surviving those places leaves a scar, I believe, on anyone who survives them. Now, I enjoy waking up in the morning and I feel good about the future and myself. I can't erase or change the past though, and I can't fully forget either.

I hope, for your benefit, you are able to lower your walls and defenses and allow somebody to assist you, even though you might be embarrased or angry and confused. Painful feelings always pass, things will get better, if you let them get better. It sounds, to me, that you need a little help and guidance to allow your situation to improve. You're scared and distrustful, I get it, but if you remain that way, people won't be sympathetic as much as they are now. You can go on to college, or adult life, with skills to cope with the bad times, that are going to come, or you can continue pushing people away who only want to help you gain coping skills so you can survive in the adult world. I hope and pray you choose to acquire productive coping skills so your adult life will be manageable and you will have a chance at being happy and popular. You sound very intelligent and strong, I believe you can have an awesome future if you can confront you own fears that are keeping helpful people away. Maybe you can pray, to a higher power than yourself, for that strength to confront your fear. I hope you find help

Believe in your strength and that something in the universe sees you and loves you unconditionally.

Don't be ashamed of yourself, we all need help sometimes. Some people just hide it better...

Peace, A.