I feel the same way. I think it's because I lack security, if anything happens, I have no one to call, so I stay to myself or don't say to much in case something were to happen, who do I call to have my side? There is no one.

Also, with the social anxiety, the whole time I'm in a social setting, all I'm thinking is "oh god, what are these people thinking of me? Are my pants zipped? Is there something in my hair? Was what I just said stupid and that's why no one reacted?" All the way to concentrating on making sure I don't trip while walking. I'm so focused on trying to be accepted and not doing anything dumb, that I can't be in the moment enjoying what's going on, unless I truly know the people I'm around. Then I see other people who are what you wouldn't see as "popular" and they are just living it up, with lots of friends and family.

I know it stems from my father embarrassing me in public so much and telling me that I'll never be as good as the next person. I don't know when, but I began to believe it and I just can't shake it.

So, I have no advice, but I have the same hope to get over it. Best wishes to you!