I could be wrong, but it sounds as though he is grieving over his past lost relationship, which is normal. When a relationship ends, normally a person needs time to gather themself before starting a new one. I don't know the circumstances of his past marriage when you two started talking (whether it was running on dry ends or maintaining some normalcy), but regardless, he was never given the time to make a proper transition. He is probably starting to realize this now that stressful situations aren't bogging down his mind. I think he probably does need to time away to mentally adjust to everything that has happened over the past couple of years. I do think you two need to try and communicate and understand each others feelings a bit better.