I agree with roadrunner- it sounds like you are very depressed right now! I'm so sorry that you are feeling this low, I have felt that bad before and I know how hard it is to live like that. If there is anyway to see a psych I would highly recommend it! I think it could really help you. In the mean time it sounds like your doing what you can- getting re-involved in sports and exercise is a great idea if you feel up to it. The endorphins could boost your mood a bit, and the social aspect should help too. If you dont want to talk to your family about it that's ok, just keep talking to people here- and hopefully a doctor in the near future? Best wishes!