For a start I would suggest that you reconsider what you are saying ADs actually do.

You say it's 'synthetic' happiness - I disagree that it is just the drug making you 'happy'. If your depression is due to biological imbalance then you probably don't make enough serotonin naturally - the AD helps this issue, it doesn't just make you suddenly feel falsely happy ... It more 'enables' happiness to take place. If you aren't happy ADs aren't just gonna make you feel really happy ...

I am similar to you in that i am pretty anti-meds, in fact I am still in a do-i-don't-i phase myself. But also read the research (you probably have already?) that says if you take the course of ADs properly (I think it is 6-12 months for most people) then you are much less likely to relapse. I think this period fluctuates according to how many major depressive episodes a person has had, etc.

good luck with your decision