Hello wolf,

I had a german shephard when I was young that was my best friend. I know wolves are dangerous, especially when they are hungry or protecting their young, but I like them nonetheless. I wouldn't dare pet one, if I met in the woods though.

I've felt very desperate in my life also. I spent one semester in a liberal arts school, just after high school, and I discovered that I had zero social skills. That was a tough wake up call for me, it hurt a lot and I felt that life was unfair. College can be a brutal social enviroment and colleges aren't very tolerant of folks with poor social skills. That is wrong and unfair. I believe that one day, in the future, it will change though. Currently, I believe that little has changed. Bullies are just cleverer about how they bully and who they bully. Intelligence doesn't mean someone is nice, or will be a good friend.

I've learned, in therapy, that suicide is a permenant solution to a temporary problem. Things WILL improve for you, it takes time. To be safe, though, I think you need to find someone you can trust. This person might help you cope and might even help you to not do something desperate that you will regret. In the future, this will just be a bad memory. Accept help from someone trustworthy, you deserve that. Even convicted murderers are allowed, many times, in prison to socialize and get therapy. What have you dome that is so horrible that you are isolating yourself even worse than they are isolated. If you are in college, it is likely that you don't have a criminal history. Don't allow yourself to be ashamed of yourself, you haven't been convicted of any crime! Don't allow others to make you feel poorly about yourself either. Whether people do it on purpose, or if just unintentionaly, the effect is the same. Nature is cruel and not fair. We still live in nature, even though we are taught that nature is outdoors and civilization is indoors. Nature, human nature, is still vicious and cruel and not always fair. You need to defend yourself, you deserve to enjoy life. Gather the tools you need to survive, there are plenty of trustworth people who can, and will help you. You need to accept the help though. No-one can do that bur you.

I hope everything works out for you "Wolf" and that your situation improves. There are just as many "goodguys" as "badguys"n this world. You aren't alone!

I'm on your side

A.