I'm sorry it pains a person to not know what happens to another member when they choose to leave and also choose not to tell others before doing so. We have no policy against a member PMing other members and friends in private and letting them know of their decision. If a member did so, I would hazard to guess most members would find they would receive a lot of support (for both their decision, and encouragement to stay).

We do have a policy of not allowing such posts to be made publicly. We forbid such posts because of too many past experiences where well-meaning members (and a tiny percentage who were perhaps not as well-meaning) would change their minds after posting they were leaving. While I'm all for people having a change of heart, it brings up a lot of public drama in the community when members go back and forth about such things. Members complain of feeling used, or wondering when another member is really "serious."

Your post was inbetween the two, since it wasn't a leaving post per se, but a "thank you" post to a member who chose to leave (and therefore, highlighting the fact they chose to leave). Since it was about a member that other members have mixed feelings about, we did indeed leave the post alone, but then closed it after a sufficient period of time where people could express themselves on the matter.

Everyone here has been or is a vulnerable person, even those members you might think are "sniping." I would encourage you to always consider that people aren't always all that they seem through what they say here (we get one facet of a person, the one they choose to share with us), and to give others the benefit of the doubt when attributing unflattering motives to them.

Best,
DocJohn