This may have nothing to do with your situation, but I believe that for many people who are dissatisfied with their marriage, they can find themselves drawn to a new person, as a way to help them disengage from their marriage.

Once the marriage is over, there is the realization that what occurred was not simply a matter of finding the perfect mate and ending an existing marriage . . . rather, the "new love" was simply a way of extracting one's self f/ the marriage. It gave a sense of purpose and reason and sanity to the act of divorce. And it was exciting.

I have known folks that then rejected their lover once the divorce was finalized . . . b/c the lover represented the reason "why" a divorce had occurred. It takes all the reponsibility off the the cheater.

This may have nothing to do with your situation - just throwing it out there for you to consider.