I'm only just now actually starting to wake up and realize that being manic is dangerous for me. I mean I feel great but I tend to burn a lot of bridges when I'm manic. I catch myself picking fights and saying horrible things. I'm lucky that my best friend is fully understanding of my issues. She gives me the reality check I need. When I first started with Therapy, I told my therapist I was not a violent person because I don't think I am but my BF reminded me in a non judging way that I stabbed a kid in seventh grade for touching my stuff and in eighth grade I threw my desk in class. So I'm at least staring to wake up to myself. My therapist is keeping a good eye on me at the moment, I have been prescribed pain pills for the past two weeks until I can have surgery and I know that the pills are really keeping me manic. I didn't know that was normal for BP until my therapist told me. Other than that I'm not on any meds because I had a baby and I'm breast feeding. I'm trying to make it until February without them.