I have self isolated my self so much that literally I only go out to see my pdoc or T ,, and a weekly trip to the grocery store with my husband , due to all the meds and hallcination I no longer drive at this point .
When im out I feel strange ,, Its like I worry if im going tohave a melt down ,,but more often I really just detach from the situation and zone out .. Last week my friend Mary came and picked me up and we went around town and out for dinner ,, altho it felt good to get out I was defenatly on edge and kept thinking " soon youll be home , soon youll be home "

My friend even noticed I kinda " checked out" she said I got an odd look on my face like I wasnt really there anymore .. I hate that I couldnt just enjoy being out ..

And now this new medication I worry ( always) the first week or so about what side effcets will I have.

derealization ...sometimes I enjoy it ... I just hope we can all find some peace .