My husband came into the bedroom and asked me if I need to call my psych. I blew up at our youngest daughter over a bag of chips and have been cycling unbelivably bad today. I found myself looking at knives in the kitchen and wondering if I would feel better if I cut myself. Not attempt suicide--but cut. I feel the urge to do stuff like pinch myself as hard as I can when I start getting mad or frustrated. I've had to fight the urge to cry all day. I just keep going between two extremes. I took an Ativan, which helped, but then I got frustrated because it was making me sleepy and I couldn't take a nap.

My husband seems to think that perhaps we need to consider hospitilization. When I pointed out we can't really afford it he just said there are worst things than the expense of hospitlization. He's afraid I'm going to be come suicidal again. I don't feel suicidal but I will admit that I'm afraid I could start down that path again.

I'm thinking about calling my psych dr. about the intensive out patient program I found but then I think about the fact that I've just been on Ativan since Friday. Maybe it's too soon to make any judgement calls. I do know that if my husband is saying maybe we need to think about a hospital visit things are serious.

I don't know what to do. Call and ask for a referal to the out patient program? Wait to see if adding the Ativan and switching to regular Wellbutrin helps? I need some advice, please.