The guy running the class said I aught to be able to do an exercise since I'm a brown belt. (obviously not if I'm not in shape like I was). Ive known him for years. Only in judo though he did sell me his old car.

Later, he came up to me and nastily said that what I was doing wasn't what he'd said to do. I told him that I didn't realize I was doing the wrong thing. Nicely. But it got to me. It's been this way for weeks. Whether or not he is singling me out I still felt like he was being harsh. In other weeks I've just sat there blinking thinking "Boy am I glad the Zyprexa is working; I feel no emotion at all.". Today I walked out of the dojo -bowed out but didn't ask to leave- because I was about to cry. And I did cry - in the bathroom. Locked myself in the big stall. My brain has been having a devil of a time retaining short-term information - new, not rote things- since Zyprexa, and especially so since this last 5 daysor so when my Zyprexa was doubled.