Your original post really touched me. You had such a beautiful relationship with your T. Unfortunately, the end of your relationship with T has been rocky, to say the least. I still say, focus on the positive as you did in the original post, what you have learned and what you have experienced. I am sure that your T will continue to hold a positive image of you despite whatever happened, and I know you can too. I mean, you can hold onto the positive experience you had and still move on to a new point in your life. You can have these warm memories that touch you and you can remember that even though you no longer see dbtT, she is still very much glad you're alive and wishes you well.