Thank you for writing this. It made me feel not so alone. I am having issues with not having control over who comes when too. It used to be so effortless, like I didn't really notice, things just kind of fell into order and then I started having issues. I hear the dialogue too. I called them "prominent thoughts". My psychiatrist let me know they were voices. But they've been there since I was itty bitty. For as long as I can remember. I can't pinpoint a time and say "They started here". When I was a child I used to look in mirrors and talk to myself, I became so obsessed with this, I would try and pull the girl in the mirror out. I would start not to recognize her. I would stand there repeating my name for hours in slow motion, but the name didn't fit. It felt so foreign. My mom had my see school psychologists and get testing done, but nothing came of it. They said I was possibly depressed. I started to learn what grounded me out of that was to think about my classmates in first grade. Why first grade, I don't know. But it took me away from the mirror. So I always guessed that they started in first grade.

I don't know what it's like not to have that dialogue. I can't remember a time without it. That's why it seemed so normal. I can pick up on the fact that other people's inner dialogue isn't the same as mine. It's odd. I am just now starting to pick up on it though.