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Old Dec 06, 2011, 11:02 AM
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tnlibrarian tnlibrarian is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2011
Posts: 278
After having the urge to cut last night in the shower I decided if things aren't going better by Friday I'm calling my psych about the outpatient program. I think something is going to have to change or I will end up in the hospital by the end of the month.

My husband keeps telling me to wait in hopes that things will improve. When I told him I'm calling Friday he seemed to get mad. I know it's because of the expense involved but which is worst--to pay for a six week program or a hospital stay? My insurance won't let me stay past three days in the hospital no matter what so the outpatient program may be more effective anyway. I'm sorry my husband is mad but it's not like I have any hope of more than 5 or 6 hours of sleep after the way the baby screamed from 4 until 7 this morning. I got up but my husband immediately got after me to go back to bed. I just ended up laying in bed listening to him scream because I didn't want my husband yelling at me because I wasn't sleeping. Now he's in "never doing it again" mode. From now on staying up with the baby is 100% my problem and not his in any way, shape or form. Well, if I can't get sleep that means I have to do other things to get this under control. Maybe I should ask him which is worst--spending money on six weeks in outpatient treatment or paying for my funeral if things really go downhill . Cold hearted way of dealing with things, I know, but still--come on. I am in trouble here and I need help getting out!

Why is it that when you think you have somebody backing you up they end up turning on you or heading for the hills?
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Becca

Bipolar 1 with Rapid Cycling and Mixed States
Wellbutrin 150 mg
Lamictal 400 mg
Geodon 40 mg
Ativan 0.5 mg