Well we gathered last night thinking we were going to put her out of her misery. As we watched her trying and my daughter had to make a decision my daughter just couldn't make up her mind and wanted to try one more thing. My daughter slept with her pony all night patiently waiting for some kind of decision to come to her heart. So many memories, so many things we were able to do because of this one little life now hanging in the balance. This one little life that began a life path for all of us leading to so many things, more than we ever could have imagined. And so many hearts were touched by this one little life. So many little girls that learned how to ride on her and went on to grow up around horses and eventually own their own.

I can remember my daughter just six years old climbing on this pony's back following me on my horse through the woods thru streams and over logs and that whole time this pony just allowed my little daughter to have so much fun, safe fun. And I remember how we dressed her up in red,white,and blue and took her in the parade with my daughter on her back and it was such a great experience for my daughter.
This one little pony that was there with me as I started my business and it slowly grew and all these years it allowed us to finance years of my daughter riding and showing and learning so much on the back of different horses over so many years.

As I struggled in trying to address my husband's issues with alcoholism and infedelity, this pony provided me with a way to be productive, a way to make my own life amongst so many struggles. A whole way of life that I never thought I would have, all made possible with this little pony that came into our lives.

All that was changed one night when a neighbor's dog chased all my ponies, so many years of finding special animals to make up my business, so many different injuries and this little pony got so sick, and she was just never the same. Something happened inside her all those days she was sick, and the pony and I have been trying to find ways to manage it for over four years now. And each time it would act up we would change her diet and we managed until whatever damage occured, built up scar tissue some the vet could feel some we could not see, made it too hard for her system to funciton properly, no this time she just couldn't recover. And it was hard to hear the neighbors selling their christmas trees and laughing while I was trying to save my pony's life once again because they didn't fix their fence, just let that dog out while I slept to come over and chase away my lifes work, my special little ponies that took years to find and train. Honestly, I have yet to find a way to overcome how someone didn't care enough to respect so much of my hard work. And hearing people just a few feet away laughing and picking out christmas trees, knowing that I was so nice and decorated my ponies in christmas decorations to give pony rides to help him open his christmas tree business just months before so much damage is beyond my comprehension. Why couldn't they just be responsible, why did they not fix that containment system for almost three months, have to wait until so many of my animals were injured and left crippled to finally install a new electric fence?

Now my little pony rests next to her best buddy, one that also lost her life due to damage from this dog. Sigh....it seems that has been my life now, more tears, still looking after damaged animals and drowning in the debt of it. So much debt that I could not take this pony to the hospital, had to just do my best with a vet coming here to do her best. This vet fell in love with the pony too and we all cried, it was so very hard.

How many times do I have to see my daughter so upset, tending to her damaged show horse, having her years of work ripped out from under her just when she was finally seeing all her work come together and was planning on finally getting to go to compete and see her dreams and hard work come true. And everything, more than I could ever imagine has changed in my family, my life because someone just didn't want to be responsible, just was too lazy and didn't care.

Honestly, I don't know how to process all this. It has presented me with something I am trying to understand. I just couldn't process or wrap my brain around all of the damage, everywhere I looked, in my animals and in the eyes of my daughter and my husband and in the mirror looking at my own eyes and tired face. For over four years now I have been struggling to find my way with all this. I don't know how to think where it wont somehow not process in my brain right. How do I stop my own brain from reacting and presenting this condition that I am trying so hard to understand and overcome?

To my little pony I have lost, may she rest in peace. Her long battle is over, I have done the best I could to help my little friend that gave me so much, so many memories, years of so many things I did with her, things that were able to happen because of her.

Open Eyes so many hearts touched by one little life.