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Hi granite, I think that you did a great job in bringing up these issues!
It sounds like subconsciously you try to "cover all of your bases" with people while you are talking to them. Like you are trying to think of all of the possibilities and outcomes all at once so that you can make your safest bet and come out the least hurt? You had to do this with the mother I'm sure?
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Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........
I'm an ISFJ
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