well, i made it through another day. i guess that's an accomplishment, the way i feel right now. i do like my new job though. i only have two dogs to take care of right now, so not much going on so far, but i'm sure they want to see how i do before giving me more.

i'm so worried about christmas, for the kids i mean. i just don't think we'll have money for presents in time for christmas. it's really stressing me out. i don't even feel like putting the tree up, and when i see the pretty christmas lights outside it just makes me cry. when you have kids, that's all it's about on christmas day, watching them tearing into their presents, the excitement, the happiness. and this year that's just not going to happen.

i feel like i failed my family, kids, husband, pets.

i don't know if i can go on like this.