Emptybee!

I had a counselling appointment today and I wrote down all of those nasty thoughts that run through my head and gave them to her. By doing this, it helped me realize how often I listen to these thoughts. Even I did not realize it until I sat down to write them out. I thought it was only a few thoughts. I was shocked by how many destructive thoughts I carry with me from day to day.

As for the difficulty smiling.....I have a different problem there. I am constantly smiling and "acting" happy and excited, because I have worked in retail, restaurant, and customer service jobs for 30+ years now and it is a programmed response for me now. That is not healthy for me either. I told my counsellor today that even when I am feeling furious and need to express it...I always come out as polite and courteous. This will be one of the issues I have to work on.

Do you ever get the feeling though that it is all too tiring? I feel that way right now. My doc has advised me to accomplish one thing at a time. Sleep first. Now, my counsellor is setting me up with a dietitian to get my body back on track nutritionally. I also have to kick myself to do some exercises. This being winter and the holidays....wish me luck lol I just want to hibernate

After I accomplish this....I have to learn to socialize, starting with my own cousins. This is where I will need help most. Once I conquer that....I have to learn to network myself for the work force. That terrifies me lol. So for now, I am working on my diet and trying to get moving. Wish me luck.

Big hugs to you. Let's both off us try to give our minds a rest. Happy thoughts