sunrise: thank you. Yes, I always like to do something "on the day" and since neither of us work anymore, we can at least go somewhere. He said he could go to the lake, my favorite place, even though it is winter now. We could go out for lunch. I'm making a card for him, with a poem.

hankster: Good advice! Thank you. I do have a lot of feelings about my T's trip. I became instantly jealous and sad. I feel cheated, though why? I don't know. I've been on trips alone with my H and many family trips. Maybe because now our visits are to our kids, but last time we were there we were both sick so we didn't go anywhere. Last summer my kids went on the kind of family vacation we used to take, and I was jealous of them!

It seems like I have a hard time "remembering" the good times I've had. They don't stick with me. I need constant recharging, and get triggered and jealous when someone does something I want to do. My T can afford these pleasure trips and that makes me angry. I want to cry about it, and have a huge tantrum!!!!

WePow: I need to cry but I'm holding back, even to myself. My H said we could go to Alaska or the Canadian Rockies sometime though we need passports for the latter. He's been there on business trips but I haven't. I'm scared to travel but I love it at the same time! I feel like I'm getting too old to go anywherel though I know that's not true. I want to see more places before I get old and sick. I feel like life is over and I don't have anything to look forward to. I don't believe him that we will ever travel again.

Travel always triggers me in one way or another.

Can'tExplain: Yes, I'm usually open with my T but that doesn't help the way I'm feeling right now.

I should make a gratitude list instead of feeling jealous of my T and sorry for myself. When talking about my marriage in my session, my T suggested writing down all the good things about my H and our marriage instead of dwelling on the negatives. I had been talking about what I missed and wondering whether I would have been happier with someone else who could meet my needs better. She said I stayed married all these years so I must have gotten something. True.

I just wish she weren't going to Hawaii!!!!