((((((hugs)))))))) if you want them

Amy,

There is a reason why you are doing this. There must be something that bothers you a lot, and you aren't able to use a better way to cope with it right now. Learning to deal with what is bothering you in a constructive way is hard - usually more than someone can reasonably be expected to do without help. I know how scary and hard it is to talk to someone about stuff like this, but you deserve to have the help and it will turn out better than you think. Meds don't fix it and they don't teach you how to deal with it. If you're not already getting counseling, could you ask for a referral to a good therapist who can help you deal with the problems you're facing? You deserve better than this.
TC,
Rap
p.s. Let us know what happens, okay?