cut again. i knew i shouldnt have stayed up so late, as it is 1 am here now. it was an attempt to bring me back to reality, ground me again. was floating away at the thought of new found love. but things wont always look so pretty, so i had to come back down again. its either i hurt me or someone else will. id rather do it. i can control it. i can hurt me as much as i want, can stop. oh well. i wish i hadnt started this again. i had stopped for so long. just stopped doing it. no reason. just poof never did it again. its been a few months this time. but now, jeez. i gotta stop. somethings gotta give.