I feel so bad right now... I just don't know who I am anymore. I wish all these things never happened... I can't tell anyone about this, maybe my therapist later... but wouldn't he think I'm a pedophile if I do? I don't know... I'm also really scared about the future... will I ever be able to lead a normal live? According to the article, I should do things with my fetish... but I don't want to do those things... I really don't want to. I just want to be happy and lead a normal life. If I will ever be happy again...

To be really honest... I had some suicidal thoughts this night. I won't do it, I could never hurt my parents and friends that much, but I just feel really bad right now. Someone ever felt the same and recovered?