thanks so much for replying. Yes, she's had the mood swings since very young age. Luckily she did not scream in the restaurant. i dont know what i would've done if she had, maybe yell back and start throwing sushi at each other, oh that would be bad lol. i just did what i felt i had to to help her calm down, and also remind limits about what is nice behavior.

i saw her today and she was so apologetic like always. We bipolars are not bad people, we know right from wrong (well mostly ... i have my vices). She told me she cried all night and couldnt stop, that she was sure that i had died, and thought that she had ruined our most wonderful and last day together. i cried a lot last night too.

i still worry about my mom dying, and about everyone i love dying. i think it's probably healthy that she cried hard and knew what she was crying about last night. She's afraid of change and she's afraid of being almost 18 and an adult. And she's mourning the adolescant years she wasted on drugs and on thinking she hated me. i think i went through almost the same thing at that age. But i did not have the help, support and understanding that i was also struggling with bipolar. i am so grateful that i have been able to get her some help so far. And i pray i will stay strong and be a centered place of love that she needs.