My brother, who is/was also an alcoholic, is similar to what you describe. I never ascribed it to the alcohol. He is quite charming, has excellent story-telling skills, etc. but if other people are talking there's something missing in his attention until he can move it back to him.

I think it is anxiety of a sort, fear of loss of control? It's hard to pay attention to others, let them have opinions and stories that we don't know, have no control over? It's a verbal fear-of-the-dark where one uses the sound of a known voice, one's own, instead of light to soothe.